Celebrating 25 Years Anniversary of Love and Trust

Today marks the day… 25 years of wedded bliss… and successful challenges overcome!  It seems like a lifetime ago, that I walked down that aisle proudly taking my husband’s name.  Young, sweet and innocent… yet full of hopes and dreams.  Similarly, it seems like only yesterday.

Reflecting on the last 25 years, I surely would not change a thing.  I met the man of my dreams, far from perfect, but perfect for me.  We fit like hand-in-glove.  I am so grateful to have my husband as my best friend.  He has been my support, my rock and encouraged me throughout our married life.  We raised 2 wonderful sons now pursuing their own successes in life.

Remember that feeling of a new love… the excitement in a relationship, the unpredictability and exploring new emotions in unchartered territory.  Those feelings developed and togetherness just felt right.  25 years on… through the raising of a family and business ventures… those feelings still reside.

That love becomes comfortable and secure.  Sometimes we do not appreciate what we have and who we have in our life every day.  We must stop… think and feel.  That love that surrounds us and is enduring, but still needs nurturing and protecting.  The small things really matter.

Life throws us challenges and obstacles in our path.  It is how we handle these situations, that will make or break us.  We can only control what we do, think and say.  We cannot control those thoughts and feelings of our partner, nor should we want to.  Tolerance, patience and understanding is a big part of the balancing act.

Thankfully, our marriage has survived 25 years, mainly due to mutual support, passion, friendship, respect, communication and encouragement of each other.  Life has not always been a bed of roses, however, it is with inner strength, faith in our marriage and commitment that we can celebrate today.

I am so grateful for my husband… for the support he has given me in the good times and the encouragement through the bad times.  I love him for all that he is and all that he brings to my life.  I believe that he has helped shape me into the strong, determined and motivated woman that I am today.

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband Peter and thank you for 25 beautiful years and making life so interesting.

Now all I want to do in my life… is to help others… feel contentment, speak freely and love who they are and what their purpose is in life.

Take care, Karen.

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“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love,

trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.

The order varies for any given year.”

~ Paul Sweeney.

Love Who You Really Are

Why do we feel that we must fit in a neat little box in society?  Be the norm… follow procedures from societal pressure… and be who you think you should be.  NO!

Be unique.  Be an individual. Make your own choices.  Be a leader.  Have your own thoughts.  Individuality is what we all should strive for.  Make yourself the person you want to be.  Be the person that you want to see in this world making a difference.

Own who you really are.

I was reminded tonight of the pressure that we put on ourselves if we make different choices to others.  My friend in her forties felt that she was dragging the chain in the relationship department and family scene.  There is no right or wrong in when we choose to settle down, to start a family, to choose a career.

Each of us are different, we have different experiences and opportunities.  That is what makes us all interesting.  It would be boring if we were all the same.  Imagine that… we would have nothing to talk about.  Nothing to share.  Our perceived imperfections would not be of value.

It is our own mindest that limits our choices and allows us to become our own burden at times.  So many of us at some point in our lives, probably many times… feel that we can’t cut it… or we don’t fit in.  We need to give ourselves a break and appreciate the special things that are individual to us all.

We must make our own choices that feel right for us.  And enjoy life.  Seeing yourself through the eyes of your loved one… is a good place to start.  That love exists for a reason.  The love of a mother or father.  The love of a partner or friend.  See yourself and your fine qualities through their eyes.

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.  Love and appreciate why you are different.  It is those differences that make you special and will help choose your path in life.  Remember there is no right or wrong when or how we do things… if we just be kind to ourselves and respect those around us.

Take care, Karen.

“EMBRACE YOUR INDVIDUALITY.

Love what you love without worrying about judgement.”

~ Author Unknown

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Rural Reflections #20

Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible mothers, grandmothers and maternal figures in our lives… for shaping us into the wonderful people that we are.  My greatest achievement in life has been my role as a loving mother and has given me so much joy over the years.  Yes, there were plenty of tears as well… but the joy that our children bring is beyond comprehension.

I am very fortunate to also have a wonderful mother that loved me unconditionally, provided me with advice when needed, gave me the freedom to make my own mistakes and learn from them, instilled morals and ethics within my soul, and shares a mutual passion for helping others, showing kindness, compassion and connection within a community.  She has been my guidance and her personality enriches me.

My passion for motherhood is the one thing that has driven me my whole entire life.  Our children… wanting the best for them, allowing them the freedom to be themselves, encouraging their differences and providing love, understanding and support is at the heart of what a mother does.

Today, as I think about motherhood, my adult children, my own mother and all those mothers doing the best job they can… today is in honour of you and the important role you play in shaping the next generation.

It makes me proud to be a mother and know that I have brought another human being into this world… educated them, loved them unconditionally, guided them and proudly watched them develop into their own self.  Whatever part of that journey you are on… enjoy the beautiful opportunities before you.

As I reflect on motherhood and my children, I decided to share this photo with you today.  An image of a microlight within the sky, as one of my sons, comes back to land upon our property.  My husband and our 2 sons, were taken above in 3 individual microlights for an aviation adventure one afternoon back in September 2011.

Rural Reflection #20…

20 Microlight at Sunset

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An exciting adventure that each of them were fortunate to experience.  The highlight was to see aerial views of our own farming property as well as surrounding farmland and towns.  I was far too scared myself, to go up in these lightweight machines, but so happy to see my loved ones enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I love this photo of one of the microlights coming back home with the beautiful sunset shining a light upon them.  The colours within the sky were beautiful as I snapped this image.

Sometimes in our lives, opportunities present themselves and it is up to us to take these opportunities and enjoy something different from the everyday routine in our lives.  This photo depicts so much happiness for me, as I see my family members being brought back home safely and with excitement in their eyes and an appreciation for this unique experience.

Enjoy those special people in your life… for those that love you, for those that teach you and for those that uplift you.  Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers and maternal figures in our lives.

Take care, Karen.

“MOTHERHOOD

is a choice you make everyday

to put someone else’s happiness and well-being 

ahead of your own

to teach the hard lessons

to do the right thing

even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…

and to forgive yourself

over and over again

for doing everything wrong.”

~ Donna Bell

 

 

How to Reclaim Your Power and Proudly Own Your Individuality?

How many of us get lost in this big wide world trying to fit in with family, our workplace or our environment?  Who has tried to be the person that they think they should be, but in the process the real YOU becomes hidden?  We all have… at some point in our lives… at all ages… felt the uneasy feeling of fitting in and conforming to pressures in society.

The power is in finding yourself again, accepting your unique qualities and allowing yourself to own who you are.  From our childhood years, teenage pressures and growing into the adult for all to see… our individuality is somewhat contained until we place value on our own attributes in life.

It is my niece’s birthday today, she is 15.  These teenage years place so much pressure on our young ones.  I am so proud that she is the mirrored example of accepting her differences and allows her true beauty to shine.  I wish we could all have that strength and capability at such a young age… to proudly be the person we truly are.

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The pressure of fitting in as a teenager… to be cool, popular and socially acceptable.  The pressure that these young people place upon themselves, is disheartening as a parent or caring adult.  For teenagers to overcome that pressure and allow their unique or even peculiar personalities to be released… that is where the real strength lies.

My beautiful niece amazes me with her diverse interests in life and her mature attitude towards relationships and interaction.  She has a passion for animals, a caring heart, a love for horses and showing cattle.  Yet she also likes organisation within her life and she has a gift for cooking.  Her attitude to give it a go and commit to doing her best… I find exemplary.

The maturity beyond her years is also inspiring and I hope that the warped sexual maturity of teenagers today is not a negative influence.  Our teenagers are forced to grow up too quickly and the mental capacity to embrace this advancement puts far too much pressure on our young ones today.  I just hope she can keep true to that individuality in years to come and inspire others to be true to themselves as well.

Children and adults alike, we all sometimes tend to re-shape our personality to assimilate the norm and be accepted in a judgemental world.  Strangely enough, with being divergent… we don’t really need to conform to societal pressures, as our unique qualities are what makes us all special and adds value to the people around us.

Sadly, it can take years or decades for us all to realise our real potential, value and purpose in this world.  We need to teach our children and grand-children early, to accept their differences and realise their own significance which allows their passion in life to develop naturally.

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Never sacrifice who you truly are… because somebody else may have a problem with it.  Be true to yourself… and be comfortable in your own skin and in your own mind.  Understand who you are and accept those beautiful unique attributes that you bring to life.  Authenticity inspires respect… so be courageous and own who you really are.

We are all a work in progress, regardless of our age.  As each year passes, our passion or interests may vary, our purpose may alter… but be true to the person you are and shine light on our world.  By being yourself and sharing love, kindness and compassion… you reclaim your power to make a positive difference in your life and the life of those around you.  Be PROUD of who you are!

Take care, Karen.

“Your self-worth is determined by you.

You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”

~ Beyonce’

Rural Reflections #11

Farmers are true believers in their industry, thus leaving them emotionally and psychologically exposed.  As the challenges consume us in this current drought… it is more important than ever… to reframe our way of thinking and believe we will get through this again.  We must first accept we are in a drought and find a way to move forward by focusing on the important things in our lives such as our family and our health.

On Friday, my husband and I attended a Community Forum on Drought and Mental Health held in Tamworth.  “The Big Community Muster” presentation covered 11 locations in 6 days and was a very informative and enjoyable event on rural health and resilience.  A dedicated team entirely decked in brightly-coloured Trade Mutts work shirts attire and designed to be a conversation starter… was the visual highlight.

Guest Speakers included:

  • Gerard O’Brien – RSM Australia Director.  He had a comprehensive understanding of the rural issues faced by farmers in this unprecedented drought event.  Gerard shared information regarding the Rural Assistance Authority drought loans and applications as well as the DroughtHub resource.
  • Alister Bennett – NSW State Agribusiness Manager for ANZ.  He works with farmers across the state regarding farm business financial management.  Alister provided information regarding agribusiness managers and encouraged farmers to have a good open relationship with their agribusiness manager in both good times and bad.
  • Dennis Hoiberg – founder of Lessons Learnt Consulting.  He is an organisational consultant and a key public speaker on emotional well-being and resilience.  Dennis spoke in a practical and humorous way to engage farmers interest, yet still managed to get the important message across very effectively.

The key message of RESILIENCE is not about being tough… it is about being whole.  It is not about bouncing back, it is about bouncing forward.  Resilience is not just about thinking happy thoughts, it is about action.

Dennis reminded us that it will NOT be the drought that breaks us, it will be minor issues in our lives.  These issues will affect our relationships and health.  Resilience is about being able to accept the drought situation and finding a way to move forward.  Dennis Hoiberg’s book The White Knuckled Ride provides thoughts, experiences and strategies to help people become resilient.

This day was effectively presented and farmers walked away with some positive information in moving forward, despite the stress and hardships they are suffering.  With a determined hope, farmers were reassured that they will get through this.

This has reminded me to appreciate all that is around us.  The drought is only the situation… a situation we must move through… and we will.  What is important is our relationships, our children, our families and our friends… those that we share our life journey with.

So today I will reflect on the current drought situation and share a photo from our farming property.  I usually prefer to show you an old photo of green grass and happier times.  But this is the situation and we are in DROUGHT… but today I CHOOSE to show you the BEAUTY within this frame.

Rural Reflection #11…

11 Look for the Real Beauty

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This photo is taken only a month ago and things are no better with the weather situation now.  But I choose to look beyond this.  I accept we are in a drought.  I know finances are in a terrible state.  I know feeding stock has become the norm.  I know physically we are wearing out.  I know mentally we need to protect what we have.  So I look beyond the dry parched land.

  • I see the rich black fertile soil awaiting a better season and I feel grateful that we have this soil beneath us.
  • I see a clear blue sky and appreciate that I can breathe this clean air every day.
  • I see a pretty pink haze, remnants of the bushfires from a distance and feel relief that farmers have protected their environment without casualties.
  • I see a mob of Hereford cattle that we have managed to keep productive and I appreciate their quiet natures for breeding stock.
  • I see a few Kurrajong Trees on the left and understand their environmental and feeding value on the farm.
  • I see the vastness on our property and am thankful that we are lucky to live in a beautiful agricultural environment.
  • But more importantly, I see my youngest son riding his motorbike to check livestock and I recognise his real passion for agriculture, his passion for cattle breeding and his passion to make our lives better.

With the stress of dealing with the drought, we sometimes overlook the most important things in our lives.  We start to focus so much on the negativity and the struggles we are faced with every single day.  We worry how on earth we will get through this.

But it is our husband, our wife, our children, our parents, our siblings and our friends… that we need to re-focus on.  They are the ones that really matter in our lives.

I am so lucky to have a caring husband that I admire for his true passion in this industry and I value his love and support.  I am lucky to have 2 wonderful sons that we have raised to honourable young men, leading their own unique lives and paving their own way.  I am lucky to have a beautiful mother that has been my inspiration to make this a better world and see the beauty in everything.  I am lucky to have a sister that tries her hardest in all that she does and is raising 3 beautiful children in the process.  I am lucky to have a few friends that I hold close to my heart and I value their friendship and support.

We all have to look at what really matters to us and where the real value is in our lives.  The love we have for our family and friends is what will get us through this drought.  Let’s make a plan to survive this tough time, accept what we cannot change and move forward wherever that may be.

Rather than see the depressing effect of drought on the land and our finances… choose to focus on the real beauty surrounding us.  Look beyond the surface… find the beauty… and enjoy the little things in life.

Take care, Karen.

“I cannot always control what is going on around me,

but I can always control what I think about what is going on around me.”

~ Lucy MacDonald

 

The Trust Crisis: Forgive or Forget?

Trust takes us years to build… but only a few seconds to break.  But can trust truly be repaired in a relationship?  You can’t truly love without trust.  We have all had partners, parents, children, siblings and friends… and at some point in our lives, the issue of trust has been diminished.  Some relationships can be mended, depending on the severity of the fracture in our faith.  But for other relationships, it is best to move on and start afresh… allowing both parties to heal.  But how does one decide what to do?

Trust is an emotional and logical act.  It is where we expose our vulnerabilities to people and believe that they will not take advantage of our honesty and openness.  Trust is a feeling… that we associate with love, friendship, comfort and relaxation.

A person who is trustworthy is considerate of others and cares for their wellbeing.  When you trust someone, you believe in them.  Trust also means that you know what is best for yourself and believing that you are worthy of trust.

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To trust… is to be honest and believe that you would never hurt your significant other, and to care deeply for them and their broken or painful past.  A desire to protect their esteem and believe in them.

To trust… is to know that your parents have your back and they love you unconditionally.  A belief that you are accepted just the way you are and that they are proud of you, your personality and your achievements.

To trust… is to raise your children into kind and loving adults, trusting that they will make their own mistakes in life, without harm.  It is believing that they will learn from these mistakes and we continue to love them unconditionally.

To trust… is to respect our siblings and be mindful of their feelings and to accept personal perceptions.  A family connection to help each other, encourage them, but also give them the space that they need.

To trust… is to have a friend that you can confide in, someone you trust in sharing your private thoughts.  They are your “confidante”, the keeper of your secrets and someone you can be yourself around.

Sometimes in our lives, whether it be bad judgement, outside influences or a mistake… trust can be broken.  Then we are left to evaluate, whether our trust has been misplaced or misunderstood.  I don’t believe the question is “should we trust again?”… but “how do we build trust so our relationships can grow and thrive?”.

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Communication is the biggest factor.  Communicating your expectations early and understanding the needs of your partner, is the foundation for building a long-lasting relationship.  To be in love with your partner, trust must be present.  Any relationship that is not built on a secure foundation of trust… will ultimately break.

Similarly, friends can disappoint you, if your concerns are not communicated clearly and a greater sense of trust has not been developed.  Trust is the single most important component of any healthy relationship.  If trust does not exist, you are unable to get close to that person and rely on them for support.  Without trust, you cannot be vulnerable and reveal your hopes, dreams and worries.

After trust has been broken, the key is to decide if the relationship is worth repairing and if trust can be restored in time.  The degree, as to which the trust has been compromised, will determine the action to be taken.  And as each person is unique, the decision will vary for all.  Some trust issues are deal-breakers and unable to be restored.  But other trust issues are repairable and worth it.  The key is knowing what is best for you…each and every one of us are worthy and it is for us to decide for ourselves.

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Sometimes, we need to make that decision to walk away and accept that our happiness is more important and we deserve better.  If trust will never be restored or will always be a major hurdle… then moving on is the answer.

Sometimes, the relationship is worth it or the trust issue can be resolved in time… that we can accept the mistake and try to rebuild the relationship again.  To build trust or re-build trust in any relationship we need to:

  • Earn It – Stop taking trust for granted and make it a priority in our relationships.  This will allow us to be conscious of our actions and understand how our partner or friend will perceive our actions.
  • Be Supportive – In a stage of building trust, being supportive of each other is of utmost importance.  Each party needs to feel that they can take a risk, make mistakes or try new things… and have the support that they both need.
  • Keep Secrets – Rather than keeping secrets from each other, instead keep secrets “for” each other.  Personal conversations in a vulnerable state, bring a sense of connection through this sort of trust.
  • Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be open and really honest when sharing things that you often keep hidden.  The ultimate sign of trust is allowing the other person into your emotional world and sharing your inner thoughts.
  • Do Not Judge – Although you might not understand why something is important to your partner or friend… but the fact that it is important is all that really matters.  We all have a history and a tangled web of emotions, so respect each other and your unique differences… without judgement.
  • Keep Your Promises – Make keeping your promises a priority and refrain from overlooking the little things.  These little promises may be small, but they go a long way towards building trust.
  • Communication – Be open and honest in your conversations and ensure you are both understood.  Each party has a need to be heard and understood, and trust is built when each party is honest.
  • Disagreements – Voice your issue and discuss privately, never in public to shame or humiliate the other person.  This will keep your lines of communication open, allow your thoughts to be voiced respectfully and ensure trust is retained.
  • Personal Growth – Take the time to work on your personal growth, which will give strength to not only you, but your relationships as well.  We all have something we need to work on… for our own well-being.

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Forgiveness is the key factor.  To forgive is not to excuse the behavior of the person that has offended you… but rather a process of allowing us to let go of anger, bitterness and resentment.  It is about us… it is about releasing yourself from the control it has over you. Forgiveness is genuine compassion for those who have wronged us and the ability to move on… for the sake of our own emotional well-being and happiness.

Trusting does not mean mistakes won’t happen.  Any relationship brings two people together with their own beliefs, ideas, emotional baggage, burdens, past history and personal perceptions.  Letting go of past transgressions is the only way to move forward and resurrect any relationship.

Letting go of the hurt and the disappointment, accepting the apology and be open for trust based on truth and love.  Time will heal… but you have the control, to control your own thoughts and actions.

I believe the significance of trust… is in yourself.  Trust that you have the ability… and the power… and the strength… to believe in yourself.  Life gives us ups and downs… but it is our choice what reactions we have and the decisions we make.  The decision is yours and you are worth it.

Take care, Karen.

“A bird sitting in a tree is not afraid of the branch breaking,

because her trust is not in the branch,

but in her own wings.”

~ tinybuddha.com 

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Believe In The Magic Of The Christmas Season

It is not what is under the Christmas tree that matters… but those who are gathered around it.  And those who are not present with you but are thought about fondly in those magical moments.  There is not only one meaning for Christmas, but many.

Family is the most important part of Christmas for most people, including me.  It doesn’t matter if your family is sharing Christmas with you… or thinking of you from afar… or even watching over you from above.  There is one common factor… the LOVE in our heart.  Family is the greatest blessing in our life.

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This year my eldest son and his girlfriend are hosting Christmas for both families.  A milestone for him… as it is the first Christmas he will host in his own home.  My husband and I will be spending Christmas with my eldest son and share the celebration he has planned.  Although this year it will be different for me, not as the host, making me somewhat anxious.  But I am very excited for him and glad to support this new adventure with him.

Sadly it will also be my first Christmas without the presence of my youngest son, as he is having Christmas with his girlfriend’s family this year.  The anxiety of change affects us all, yet inevitable in keeping family time fair and enjoyable for all.  I will miss him but glad he is able to be a supportive partner this season.

When our children are little and dependent upon us, Christmastime is joyful and filled with laughter in a childlike way.  We watch as gifts are unwrapped, presents enjoyed and we are delighted to make our children happy.  I remember those early years when the boxes and wrapping paper were just as much entertainment as the present itself.  I am sure those with young children will relate to this.

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As our children grow up and flee the nest, we have to learn to share them and experience the new ways of celebrating Christmas.  We must learn to accept change and appreciate our children and their new families.

Christmas brings so much love and joy, wherever you are.  Whether it is the delicious food shared, the atmosphere surrounding us, the giving of special gifts or the smiles, hugs and laughter we embrace.

I feel lucky this year to have my own Mum spending Christmas with us too.  I booked her a flight when she agreed to leave her usual Christmas post at her own home.  It really is very exciting to have her spending time with us this Christmas.

My sister’s family are also close-by, so I will fit in a visit to see them all too.  I am very happy for my nieces and nephew that they are able to spend Christmas Day at their own home this year, the first time in nearly 5 years.

Another Christmas we all spend without my Dad or father-in-law, but I know they are here in spirit, with heartfelt hand upon our shoulder.  It is hard emotionally when we lose a loved one and the memory of Christmas changes dramatically.  I choose to focus on how lucky I was to have that person influence me and my life.  I also reflect on those enjoyable and entertaining times we did spend together.  Just knowing of their guidance that I feel all around me… is reassuring and the love remains.

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So this Christmas, enjoy time with your family members and good friends.  Cherish all those around you and all those in your heart.  This is a time for sharing, giving and believing.

Christmas is our opportunity to pause for a moment and reflect upon the most important things surrounding us.  Through warmth and joy… Christmas is magical when our loved ones are surrounding us or tucked safely in our heart.  I hope the magic of Christmas is alive and well within your home and peace shines upon you all.  Family is a gift that lasts forever.

Take care, Karen.

“The best gift around the Christmas tree

is the presence of family

wrapped in love.

~ Author Unknown

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A Truly Beautiful Mother That Has Belief In Me

Mothers are the most important person we have in our entire lives and they are unable to be replaced.  They are the ones who love us unconditionally and teach us the important lessons in life.

I value the importance of my Mum.  She is the one who instilled those significant values within me.  I am thankful that she shaped me into the kind and generous person I am today.  (Oh yes, I know my Dad had a bit to do with it too, but this blog is about MOTHERS).

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My Mum reminded me yesterday, when she sent me a little message, that mothers are always thinking of their children, no matter how young or old they are.  The message was a positive quote, bringing with it the very powerful thought being conveyed.  It made me smile when I read it and I thought of how much I really love my Mum.

A simple, timeless and kind gesture, one can give to another… brings an overwhelming sense of calmness and clarity in a single moment.  Our mothers are our greatest teacher… a teacher of love, compassion and fearlessness.  The one that loves and cares for you without question.  A true friend for life… and our greatest emotional support.  She is the one that always has your back.

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As a mother myself, I think we tend to value our Mum’s a little more when we start to go through the trials and tribulations of motherhood.  We realise at this time, it wasn’t so easy after all.  I love being a Mum… loving, caring and guiding my own children.  We just want our kids to be happy and grow into well-balanced, kind and resilient individuals.  We want to protect them yet allow them the freedom to learn from their own mistakes.

Our mother is our greatest critic yet our strongest supporter.  You wouldn’t want it any other way.  She will tell you constructively when you need direction and she will support you to the very end.  Her kind words of support and advice, is what we start to hear in our sub-conscious mind in our everyday lives.  What a beautiful legacy to leave with a child… guidance for life.

A good mother always worries that she is not being a good mother.  Motherhood is no easy venture, but worth it when you are able to appreciate it for what it is.  The privilege to raise another human being and guide them to adulthood, to encourage their strengths and embrace their personalities.

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What joy a child does bring to a mother… no matter their age.  As a child, they bring us laughter and daily quirks, memorable moments and gratification.  As your child becomes an adult themselves (although they are still your babies), they now bring you a sense of contentment and excitement as they live their lives.  Then we sit back and hope our work is done.  And hope we have instilled in them, that we are their support for life.

All that I am or hope to be… I owe to my Mum.  She has instilled kindness and generosity within me, a caring sense and compassion which comes naturally.  Her encouragement and belief in me… guides me to shine, to strive and to achieve.  I am proud that I have inherited so many of my mother’s qualities.  She is one very special lady and I am honored to call her MY MUM.  Love you Mum!

Take care, Karen.

“Life doesn’t come with a manual,

it comes with a mother.”

~ Author Unknown

P.S. Please watch this beautiful video, it sums up how significant our mothers really are.

Video Credit:  Jamie O’Neal – YouTube

 

 

12 Ways to Learn How to Love Your True Self

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?  Why do we compare ourselves to others or degrade our own imperfections? How do we get rid of the negative self-doubt and allow our happiness to shine?

It is never too late to become the man or woman you truly are.  We don’t need to be better or do better… we just need to accept ourselves and learn that we are lovable.

We can be our own worst enemy.  I wish I knew 20 years ago, what I know now.  I would have saved myself a lot of needless worry and found my true inner happiness much sooner in life.  To learn how to love yourself is a self-healing process that only we can do for ourselves.  You are worth it!

  • Embrace Your Strengths – Acknowledge and embrace your unique strengths.  Trust that you do have good qualities and you are good at something.
  • Feel Worthiness – Treat yourself like you are an important person, worthy of love & respect.  It will become more natural and habit-forming.
  • Be Compassionate – When you notice that you are judging yourself, stop, and think of yourself like you would your friend, and tell yourself something compassionate instead.  Speak to yourself in a way that you would speak to someone you love.
  • Embrace Your Dark Side – Accept and acknowledge that we all have a dark side that will surface sometimes.  It is human nature to show all feelings and emotions.  It is OK to feel the emotion but then learn the lesson and let it go.
  • Accept Your Imperfections – It is our imperfections that make us special and unique.  Nobody is perfect.  Flaws and imperfections make us who we are and they don’t make you any less of a person.
  • Like Your Reflection – Learn to look in the mirror and see the things you do like.  Your makeup may not be perfect, but your hair looks good today.
  • Accept Your Weaknesses – We all have weaknesses, you can acknowledge them without allowing them to rule your life with self-doubt.
  • Let Go of Regret – You can think about the past but don’t let it overwhelm you.  If there is a lesson to be learned or an apology needed, so be it.  Forgive yourself.
  • Accept Compliments – Say thank you instead of shying away from a compliment.  Own your positive traits and be proud.
  • Enjoy Your Success – Step back and enjoy your accomplishments, even those little things in every day life.  You prepared a lovely meal tonight!
  • Support & Share – Be around people that practice positivity, so you can stop the negative self-talk.  Embrace and share your strengths with others.
  • Express Gratitude – Share your sincere appreciation for those around you.  People may not remember everything you say and do, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Like “most” of yourself, as much as you can.  We may not get to 100% self-satisfaction, but aim for it… and be content with where you are and the changes you have made.

You have the power to improve your life and you deserve true happiness.  Treat yourself like someone worthy of love, respect and compassion, and your life will be joyful.

The most beautiful thing is when we realise how imperfectly perfect we really are.  Then we will be open for the love and life flowing around us.  The secret in learning to love yourself, is learning to see who you really are and accepting yourself with gratitude.

Take care, Karen.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

~ Oscar Wilde

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The Eternal Love We Have For Our Children

How much do our children mean to us?  As a mother, I think our children are at the top of our priority list.  They cannot be replaced, they make us proud, you love them unconditionally, you simply want them to be happy.  Nobody else will ever know the strength of love that we have for our children.  They are the only ones to know what our heart sounds like from the inside, imprinting on us immensely right from the start.

I have 2 wonderful sons, now in their early twenties, living their own unique lives independently.  They will probably not understand, until they have children of their own, how loved and meaningful they truly are to me.

In those early years, I think a lot of us do not comprehend the significance that we make in our parents lives.  It wasn’t until I become a mother, that I truly did appreciate and re-evaluate the extent of the relationship with my parents.  I think it is then, that I finely appreciated and formed a lasting friendship with my own mother.  To watch a grandmother display her love and affection to her new grandchildren, is the most beautiful and selfless act one could see.

My sons were fortunate to have been raised on a farm too, giving them the freedom and space to evolve.  Boys and mud, went hand in hand, nearly every day.  I remember when they were newborns, all I wanted to do was stare at their beautiful faces and tiny helpless hands.  The love was overflowing, but also burdened with new responsibilities.

When my boys were toddlers and dragged along to cattle sales or farm outings, they would take their bag of matchbox cars and plastic farm animals.  I was always amazed how they created their own fun and their personalities were coming through.  They would make car tracks in the dirt and have pretend cattle sales in the background.

As they got older, there was always the inconvenience that they lived too far from town and never got to do the things that their peers were doing.  But weekly sport involvement, weekend entertainment and other extra-curricular activities, ensured they were able to keep up with things the best way possible.

Then they mature and find their own paths in life.  It gives me a sense of contentment and pride.  My work is done.  But they still need reminding in life, how much they are loved by us and that we will support them always.  No matter how big they get, they will always be our babies in our hearts and our love will be eternal.

Our children need to understand that when we say “I love you”… this is not by habit… it is to remind them that they are the best thing that ever happened to us and they bring us so much joy.  Mothers think about their children every single day at all hours, even if they are not with her.

There is no right or wrong way to raise children whilst ever we love them and want them to grow into loving respectful people.  Doesn’t matter if we breast-feed or bottle-feed… a single parent or a couple… work full-time with childcare or a stay-at-home Mum… or even live in the city or country.  One way is not better than the other.  There is no competition needed.

Each family is unique and each child is unique and that is what makes our lives so interesting.  No family is perfect… we all have our own problems and find our own way to work through them.  As a parent, just do the best job you can with the knowledge and expertise that you have.  And enjoy the process of raising your beautiful children to adulthood.

Take care, Karen.

“A mother holds her children’s hands for a while,

but their hearts forever.”

~ Author Unknown

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