Toastmasters Proves To Be Life-Changing

February 23, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

Who cringes at the mere thought of public speaking? ME for one! It is Toastmasters International Week. The week to reflect upon and promote the intense personal improvements that are waiting to be unveiled for all.

Toastmasters is a self-development group of people that are aimed at helping members improve their communication and leadership skills. Toastmasters was established in 1924 and now operates in 52 countries with more than 200,000 members in over 8,000 clubs.

Only a few months ago, I joined Toastmasters International and ever so quickly… my life has improved, in confidence and my public speaking skills are starting to emerge. Despite feeling anxious and somewhat overwhelmed at speaking publically, Toastmasters has incredibly helped me overcome my initial fears and is helping me develop some insight into the art of speaking.

I wouldn’t say miracles have happened in this very short time, but my involvement at Toastmasters has certainly improved my confidence levels and ability to not “run away” at the mere thought of speaking to an audience. I like the structure and opportunities presented at each meeting. I also like the supportive members that assist and guide with their friendly natures and mutual desire for personal improvement.

Our level of confidence improves with our ability to control our nerves and overcome the fear. Toastmasters helps you to overcome that fear, control your nerves and increase your confidence. Leadership skills are the great underlying strength in Toastmasters with their structure, organisation and operation. Toastmasters can help you improve your ability to think more quickly, learn meeting procedures and have an evening of fun and enjoyment.

For me, I like to speak from the heart and give an emotional authentic style of speech. My problem is I like to write, so of course, I can prepare an engaging speech of some sort. But presenting a speech is my struggle. When I stand up, I lose the words, I don’t know what to say. This is my challenge to overcome and I have enjoyed the journey to date.

I attended my first meeting to check it out and observe as a guest. Then I joined up on the spot, despite thinking that “I am way out of my depth here”. I believed I could never speak in front of people like this, even though it was only a small audience of about 12 people.

But I was on a recent mission to challenge myself and gain personal growth. Nevertheless, I joined up because I knew that would make me return and I would not give up without even trying. I am really a scrooge and money is very valuable in farming… so in my mind… if I paid the membership, I would have to return to get my money’s worth. I know… I am a little eccentric… but it worked for me.

Toastmasters has produced a new program called Pathways that allows members to choose their own unique path, subject to their own aims and desired outcomes. I find this very personalised and more dedicated to the individual. I also enjoy the online opportunity of my pathway.

The new program Pathways was introduced in 2010 with 5 core competencies:

Public Speaking
Interpersonal Communication
Management
Strategic Leadership
Confidence

There are 11 different Pathways to choose from, based on your own objectives and to develop those skills as you embark on this new experience and journey. Through answering questions about my aims and purpose, several Pathways were suggested. I chose “Innovative Planning” and was guided to the tasks and their purpose.

So I was keen, although nervous, at the next meeting to present my first 5-minute speech the “Ice Breaker” which is all about introducing yourself and learning the basic structure of a public speech. I would normally have quit before I even started… because I feared public speaking so much that I would even refrain from asking questions for the lack of words. I have recently managed to shift my mindset, so I was very nervous yet very eager to begin and get it over with. Surprisingly under the nerves, I actually enjoyed presenting my speech and my passion in life to the small audience.

As part of my new challenge for self-improvement, I elected to take on the assignment of the “Inspiration” segment at the next meeting. My short speech entailed Christmas and the festive season and an inspiring poem. I also enjoyed doing this, despite the nervous energy within me. I am still amazed by how a supportive group of people with a mutual interest in improving speaking skills can encourage me to be so involved.

At following meetings, I have continued to take on an assignment role where needed, in an attempt to make myself step outside my comfort zone. This has lifted my confidence and improved my ability to speak and find those words somewhere within. I do feel empowered to explore and enjoy what Toastmasters offers in developing my communication skills.

My next big speech will be in a few weeks, so I have been thinking about where to begin. The topic can be about anything of my choosing. I would like to talk about drought in Australia, the mental health of farmers, the empathy of strangers with drought support and the unspoken yet heartfelt gratitude of farmers. As a farmer, this is quite an emotional topic, so I am not sure how it will come together and be presented. I would like to try presenting a speech without having it written on paper, word for word. But I am fearful that my true message will get lost when I forget all the words and I will feel disappointed. I must talk to some more experienced fellow Toastmasters to get some advice.

Toastmasters really is a supportive and positive learning environment with opportunities for members to develop communication and leadership skills. This leads to self-confidence and personal growth.

Anyone over the age of 18 can join Toastmasters… male or female… from any career or background. I encourage you to make enquiries at your local Toastmasters Club as you will be amazed by this incredible life-changing experience that will improve all areas of your life.

Take care, Karen.

“The thing you fear most has no power.

Your fear of it is what has the power.

Facing the truth really will set you free”.

~ Oprah Winfrey

Overcome The Fear & Embrace New Experiences

February 22, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

Is it that fear and anxiety is over-powering your being? Are you simply shy or an introvert? Maybe you could not be bothered or worry about stepping outside your comfort zone. Connecting with new people awakens new experiences in your life. We all need to take that small step to seek a wider view and CONNECT with a more diverse array of people.

That is exactly what I did this evening. On a spur of the moment whim, I was informed of a local social group called CONNECT Tamworth Women’s Network. Women supporting women… providing a social outlet, chatting and listening, having a laugh, enjoying a meal together and listening to inspiring guest speakers… what better way to spend an evening once a month.

A group of dynamic women with an array of business backgrounds and diverse industries… such as education, health, wellbeing, financial, writing and agriculture. As guest speakers provide an interesting story, an uplifting experience or sharing their personal knowledge… a group of local women are being empowered and inspired.

“The aim of CONNECT Tamworth Women’s Network is to provide a creative, respectful and nurturing environment that brings together women of all ages, at all stages of their career, to network and help them grow personally and professionally.”

This is exactly what I was part of this evening. I was inspired and empowered once again… all because I took that step to try something new, controlled my anxiety and allowed myself to enjoy some time out.

Sometimes when we think about getting to know new people, anxiety kicks in and tries to overpower our rationality. But if we overcome this urge and realise that the opportunities are out there and new people are great for our soul. It allows us to open our mind and our heart… to share our passions, to share inspiration and to share our knowledge.

For over 30 years CONNECT Tamworth Women’s Network has been providing an evening of inspiration, empowerment and education for local women in the region. This group is a not-for-profit organisation, improving the lives of women on a personal level and a professional level.

We enjoyed listening to guest speaker, Published Australian Author Chris Taylor who writes romantic suspense novels. She also spoke of her heartfelt journey from childhood on a farm in north-west NSW, her passion for reading, her nursing career, her career as a criminal lawyer… to her passion for writing and becoming a published author. She has published 30 books and sold over 150,000 copies. She was a very interesting speaker and shared a uniquely inspiring story of her life journey.

Tonight we also enjoyed dinner at the venue Cascada Licensed Restaurant in Tamworth whilst enjoying the evening. Over dinner, I was able to get to know some more dynamic women and thoroughly enjoyed the conversation and discussions.

Although I usually feel shy, socially awkward and uncomfortable in new groups… I actually felt welcomed and completely comfortable at the first evening event for 2019. I am so glad that I have joined this new group and eagerly await to attend next month to listen to another interesting guest speaker. Empowerment is what I strive for and inspiration is a beautiful process.

For more information on CONNECT Tamworth Women’s Network email connecttamworth@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page.

Take care, Karen.

“When women support each other,

incredible things happen.”

~ Author Unknown

Launching…My Journal ~ Inspiration for Inner Strength

February 20, 2019February 20, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

It is now available. My first heartfelt gift created for family or friends. I created this unique Journal to inspire the holder to find their own inner strength. I have used my own self-motivating quotes that inspire passion in life. I encourage the holder to believe in themselves and give gentle guidance in finding the happiness that is contained within. It allows a welcoming personal space for one to express their inner thoughts, during their own personal development journey.

I am really proud of this book “My Journal” and the purpose it has been created for. Writing in a journal provides a means to express yourself, resulting in mental clarity and a personal connection to deep inner thoughts and feelings.

Journals are used worldwide for a variety of reasons. Some people like to record their daily happenings, celebrate accomplishments, overcome frustrations, break down their goals into actionable events, capture brilliant ideas or divulge in words of wisdom. For whatever reason one is able to express themselves in words… it becomes a self-healing, self-motivating or restoration of self-control.

For individuals to combat your struggles with daily stress, depression or anxiety… writing in a journal can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health and well-being. There is no better place to start than right here, right now.

Stress… stress… stress… it is all around us, it is consuming us every day. An overabundance of stress is damaging to our health… physically, mentally and emotionally. It has been proven over many years, that journaling is the most widely used and most effective stress management tool. Writing about stressful events can help you bring mental clarity and help manage stress in a more healthy way.

Writing in a Journal will improve your mental clarity, can help you solve problems in your life and will improve your overall focus and goals. Basically, it is a tool to clear our mental clutter. By writing in a Journal, it gives the opportunity to transfer the problem from your head to the paper. And it works!

So today I am excited to bring you “My Journal” with a powerhouse of my personal quotes to inspire you to make a difference in your world, give you focus and believe you are worth it. For only AUD$14.00 you can share my passion and inspiration with a loved one, a friend or a gift just for yourself. To preview “My Journal” or order a copy, please visit Blurb.

I do hope you or the receiver of this gift… enjoy “My Journal” and the inspiration it will bring. I am so happy to be able to share my passion with you all and hope you all find that inner strength in your life and the happiness within… reigns upon you.

Take care, Karen.

“Who you are

TOMORROW

begins with what you do

TODAY.”

~ Tim Fargo,

American Author & Keynote Speaker

Gratitude: A Somewhat Silent Expression

February 18, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

How much gratitude have you seen during the current devastating drought, the raging bushfires and the severity of floods in our very diverse nation called Australia? How does one return from the mortifying emotional, physical and financial loss in our agricultural industry? Despite the disastrous effects surrounding our every being, you can see the gratitude everywhere. But you must look past the obvious and observe the more delicate ways that gratitude is expressed.

How can our one single country be experiencing these extreme gut-wrenching weather events? From flooding in Northern Queensland, to bushfires in northern NSW and Tasmania… and drought almost everywhere we see. The horrid effects that weather is casting upon our hardworking farmers in crisis, is none other than mass devastation and loss.

But beneath all the heartache, there is a flicker of hope. A hope that is yearned for, day after day. With one foot in front of the other, farmers are finding the strength to face the struggles and battle to sustain the future of agriculture in Australia. Gratitude is expressed in two very different ways and is an absolute reflection on either side from city to country.

We see everyday Australians of all ages, adults and children alike… dig into their piggy banks and savings to throw our farmers a lifeline. We see donations of canned food, toiletries, water, anything at all… just to show appreciation in a gratifying way. Many charities step up to take on the challenge of distributing these donated funds and grocery supplies, as the liaison to unite the efforts of the Australian people.

To see the gratitude within the community and the heartfelt actions of lifting the spirits of our farmers, is genuinely profound. To understand that communities care about farmers, the food they produce, the fibres they yield… and feeding and clothing our beautiful nation, suddenly became of utmost importance and the compassion is sincere. These actions alone proved that the mental state and future of our farmer’s wellbeing, was accepted with gratitude by a compassionate nation and then a sense of obligation was accepted warmly.

On the flip side… the farmer’s hearts are breaking, surrounded with the burden of loss and devastation… yet they are overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation to the community and charities holding them afloat and trying to power their natural farming spirit again. The silence in this case, can be as quiet and non-existent unless you look beneath the emotional surface. As a farmer presented with a natural disaster accepts some form of assistance… the guilt in their own mind can be over-powering, they can feel unaccomplished or unsuccessful in their usual farming operations and ashamed to have accepted the help. However, beneath that tough exterior, it is visible but camouflaged in disguise… the gratitude is rampant.

Gratitude is expressed silently in that sad and solemn expression… an expression that is only seen by very few. Gratitude is depicted as the farmer’s head falls into his callous hands or as he wipes those tears of relief from his cheeks. Gratitude falls into his burden of work as he feeds his hungry stock and is somewhat overlooked until the day he manages to comprehend the specific degree of gratitude, as he digs himself from that hole consuming his life. It is then that we see that honest, hearty grace that he feels indebted to.

The thankfulness exists within each and every farmer, but expression is limited, through farming workload and the disastrous burden that has impacted their lives and the welfare of their family. The warmth and cordial emotions surrounding farmers at the moment is overflowing with acknowledgment and recognition of an industry they are so passionate about.

The Australian community is empathetic, compassionate and resilient… and the division diminishes as disastrous events unite our nation. With heartfelt thoughts and actions, it allows the gratfulness to emerge. I am proud to be part of the Australian community and I am proud to be a farmer supporting our agricultural industry. Gratitude is what makes our nation unique and it is the kindness in ordinary people that make us extraordinary.

Thank you to the farmers that work to feed and clothe our nation. And thank you to all those beautiful people, businesses and charities that support farmers and rural industries. If you eat food and wear clothes, you are supporting the agricultural industry. So thank you!

Take care, Karen.

“Gratitude drives happiness.

Happiness boosts productivity.

Productivity reveals mastery.

And mastery inspires the world.”

~ Robin S. Sharma, Canadian Writer

on leadership, personal growth and life management.

#feb_gratitude

#greatblogchallenge

@writally

The Trust Crisis: Forgive or Forget?

February 9, 2019February 9, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

Trust takes us years to build… but only a few seconds to break. But can trust truly be repaired in a relationship? You can’t truly love without trust. We have all had partners, parents, children, siblings and friends… and at some point in our lives, the issue of trust has been diminished. Some relationships can be mended, depending on the severity of the fracture in our faith. But for other relationships, it is best to move on and start afresh… allowing both parties to heal. But how does one decide what to do?

Trust is an emotional and logical act. It is where we expose our vulnerabilities to people and believe that they will not take advantage of our honesty and openness. Trust is a feeling… that we associate with love, friendship, comfort and relaxation.

A person who is trustworthy is considerate of others and cares for their wellbeing. When you trust someone, you believe in them. Trust also means that you know what is best for yourself and believing that you are worthy of trust.

To trust… is to be honest and believe that you would never hurt your significant other, and to care deeply for them and their broken or painful past. A desire to protect their esteem and believe in them.

To trust… is to know that your parents have your back and they love you unconditionally. A belief that you are accepted just the way you are and that they are proud of you, your personality and your achievements.

To trust… is to raise your children into kind and loving adults, trusting that they will make their own mistakes in life, without harm. It is believing that they will learn from these mistakes and we continue to love them unconditionally.

To trust… is to respect our siblings and be mindful of their feelings and to accept personal perceptions. A family connection to help each other, encourage them, but also give them the space that they need.

To trust… is to have a friend that you can confide in, someone you trust in sharing your private thoughts. They are your “confidante”, the keeper of your secrets and someone you can be yourself around.

Sometimes in our lives, whether it be bad judgement, outside influences or a mistake… trust can be broken. Then we are left to evaluate, whether our trust has been misplaced or misunderstood. I don’t believe the question is “should we trust again?”… but “how do we build trust so our relationships can grow and thrive?”.

Communication is the biggest factor. Communicating your expectations early and understanding the needs of your partner, is the foundation for building a long-lasting relationship. To be in love with your partner, trust must be present. Any relationship that is not built on a secure foundation of trust… will ultimately break.

Similarly, friends can disappoint you, if your concerns are not communicated clearly and a greater sense of trust has not been developed. Trust is the single most important component of any healthy relationship. If trust does not exist, you are unable to get close to that person and rely on them for support. Without trust, you cannot be vulnerable and reveal your hopes, dreams and worries.

After trust has been broken, the key is to decide if the relationship is worth repairing and if trust can be restored in time. The degree, as to which the trust has been compromised, will determine the action to be taken. And as each person is unique, the decision will vary for all. Some trust issues are deal-breakers and unable to be restored. But other trust issues are repairable and worth it. The key is knowing what is best for you…each and every one of us are worthy and it is for us to decide for ourselves.

Sometimes, we need to make that decision to walk away and accept that our happiness is more important and we deserve better. If trust will never be restored or will always be a major hurdle… then moving on is the answer.

Sometimes, the relationship is worth it or the trust issue can be resolved in time… that we can accept the mistake and try to rebuild the relationship again. To build trust or re-build trust in any relationship we need to:

Earn It – Stop taking trust for granted and make it a priority in our relationships. This will allow us to be conscious of our actions and understand how our partner or friend will perceive our actions.
Be Supportive – In a stage of building trust, being supportive of each other is of utmost importance. Each party needs to feel that they can take a risk, make mistakes or try new things… and have the support that they both need.
Keep Secrets – Rather than keeping secrets from each other, instead keep secrets “for” each other. Personal conversations in a vulnerable state, bring a sense of connection through this sort of trust.
Be Vulnerable – Allow yourself to be open and really honest when sharing things that you often keep hidden. The ultimate sign of trust is allowing the other person into your emotional world and sharing your inner thoughts.
Do Not Judge – Although you might not understand why something is important to your partner or friend… but the fact that it is important is all that really matters. We all have a history and a tangled web of emotions, so respect each other and your unique differences… without judgement.
Keep Your Promises – Make keeping your promises a priority and refrain from overlooking the little things. These little promises may be small, but they go a long way towards building trust.
Communication – Be open and honest in your conversations and ensure you are both understood. Each party has a need to be heard and understood, and trust is built when each party is honest.
Disagreements – Voice your issue and discuss privately, never in public to shame or humiliate the other person. This will keep your lines of communication open, allow your thoughts to be voiced respectfully and ensure trust is retained.
Personal Growth – Take the time to work on your personal growth, which will give strength to not only you, but your relationships as well. We all have something we need to work on… for our own well-being.

Forgiveness is the key factor. To forgive is not to excuse the behavior of the person that has offended you… but rather a process of allowing us to let go of anger, bitterness and resentment. It is about us… it is about releasing yourself from the control it has over you. Forgiveness is genuine compassion for those who have wronged us and the ability to move on… for the sake of our own emotional well-being and happiness.

Trusting does not mean mistakes won’t happen. Any relationship brings two people together with their own beliefs, ideas, emotional baggage, burdens, past history and personal perceptions. Letting go of past transgressions is the only way to move forward and resurrect any relationship.

Letting go of the hurt and the disappointment, accepting the apology and be open for trust based on truth and love. Time will heal… but you have the control, to control your own thoughts and actions.

I believe the significance of trust… is in yourself. Trust that you have the ability… and the power… and the strength… to believe in yourself. Life gives us ups and downs… but it is our choice what reactions we have and the decisions we make. The decision is yours and you are worth it.

Take care, Karen.

“A bird sitting in a tree is not afraid of the branch breaking,

because her trust is not in the branch,

but in her own wings.”

~ tinybuddha.com

From Exploiting Women…To The Triumphs of Strong Women

February 1, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

It saddens me that women still have to fight for feminism rights and respect within this world. Today I tackle a controversial issue that irritates me within the Australian culture… the exploitation of women. After being faced with an incident last week, it has played on my mind, and now it is time I revealed my annoyance with the way women are looked upon as inferior sexualised objects. Australia is supposed to be a pretty advanced society and women’s rights have been successfully implemented over this last century.

Despite the strength of many women, we are still faced with sex-based discrimination bringing an abundance of emotional torment to women every day in this country. Why do some men welcome this exploitation for their mere selfish pleasure? Why do some women allow themselves to be regarded as the inferior sex and settle for being taken advantage of regularly?

Historically, Australia is a male-dominated society, which started way back in 1788 when the British settled upon this land. There has predominantly been a lack of respect and inferiority that continued for many generations. Despite the equity of women becoming more accepted in Australia now… sadly I am reminded that we still have further hurdles.

Thankfully most Australian’s are respectable and there is support for women’s liberation every day around us… and not all men are so superficially challenged. During this last week, I have witnessed both extremes… from very supportive women to the exploitation of women.

After enjoying several performances and shows during the Tamworth Country Music Festival, I was having a wonderful time and enjoying time away from the farm. However, there was one particular performance that really did annoy me… which in my opinion, is working against the progress that women have made. Not to mention names of the “not so great” performing group or venue… the exploitation of a woman within their performance, I found extremely crude and disrespectful. Not funny at all.

To set the stage for you…

A young woman was “selected” from the audience as a volunteer, which may or may not have been part of the act. The attractiveness of the young woman was verbally stated as part of the show… but it was the inappropriateness of the in-depth references to her body parts and blatant sexual advances, that I found very offensive. I am not too much of a prude and I don’t mind a little crudeness for humorous purposes. But the sexual suggestions and inappropriate requests from the all-male performers… such as asking her to stroke the tambourine with intimate references, continuous bending over to take a bow in order to give the drummer a view of her butt in her short shorts, jumping up and down in excitement with men tantalising over bouncing breasts, brazen suggestions for a wet T-shirt to be brought to the stage, the fiddle player “accidentally” on purpose poking her breast with his bow, and the ongoing sexual advances… this was not entertainment but patronising vulgarity.

The saddest part was that this young woman was all too obliging and acted very “ditsy” when carrying on with their show. Her foolishness within this show, made women appear brainless and cheap. It made out as if women are worthless and our purpose is only for the sexual connotations for men. This notion is so prehistoric and I found it crude that this was depicted in this way. This type of presumptuous demeanor is a tragic insult to women in general.

Women have come so far in this world with equality, through women’s liberation and feminism, and our value has finally been acknowledged. Sadly, I felt sorry for this woman being exploited (whether she realised it or not). I felt sorry for the women in the audience (mainly an older generation)… thinking that this was normal back in their day and not considered sexual harassment at all. And I felt sorry for the men that watched (and maybe quietly enjoyed the show) whether they realised it was disrespectful or not. As a mother of 2 sons, I would be disgusted and disappointed if my sons treated women like this… and I am grateful that my husband respects women and is not superficial.

I watched the show for a short while, despite their early warning that their aim was to offend people and challenge political incorrectness. I really thought the show could be quite funny. Once I realised that this show was far too objectionable for my liking, I did leave the venue, as a personal statement that I did not support the exploitation of women by anyone.

Women are not sexual objects… they do need men to drool over their superficial looks and sexuality. Women want to feel like a work of art… not a “piece of meat”. Women have thoughts and feelings… they have opinions and talent… they deserve to be treated with dignity and regarded as an equal gender. No more, no less, equal.

Although the disrespect may be evoked by many men in our community, it is women who allow them to be disrespectful towards them. Women must realise their worth and stand up for themselves. As women, we need to promote the well-being of all women. If we are more liberated, the men will see that we deserve the respect we seek.

In a paradoxical moment, only several days later, I was able to witness a heartfelt supportive woman. I attended Beccy Cole’s concert and enjoyed her fun-loving stage presence, her humour and her music. Something that stuck with me… at the end of her show, her outspoken statements in support of feminism. She just wants women to be nice to each other and accept ourselves for who we are. Women need to support each other and boost each other up. Her kind words really resonated with me, as I totally support this notion.

Similarly, when I attended another big concert “Country Turns Pink” which was raising funds for the McGrath Foundation, I witnessed another inspiring event. Many music artists showed their support at this event and of women in general. Beautiful music and lyrics touched the audience thanks to artists such as Tania Kernaghan, Gina Jeffreys, Beccy Cole, Adam Harvey and Amber Lawrence.

I would like to share this song I enjoyed when sung by Amber Lawrence as I really loved the beautiful lyrics… “Cheers to the Girls”. The uplifting song is about women realising their own worth, taking back their power, standing up for themselves and following their dreams. I am sure that every girl and woman can relate to this song and has felt these sort of feelings at some point in their lives. This is what we should be promoting for women… and we deserve nothing less. Listen and enjoy!

Take care, Karen.

“Women of Worth

She is someone’s daughter

She is someone’s friend

She is someone’s sister

She is someone…”

~ Author Unknown

Video Credit: Amber Lawrence & YouTube

Own Who You Are, With Audacity

January 31, 2019 / Country Heart Spark / 4 Comments

Every single one of us is so unique and perfectly created to be somebody or do something important in life. Why do we cringe and sway away from the real person we truly are? Just to fit in within our lives… our work, our family, our social circle… and be the “picture” of the person we think we should be and for others to see.

Sometimes it takes us years to figure it out… to realise that this is crazy. We deserve to be true to ourselves. We deserve happiness…. the happiness that lies within us… when we allow the real person within us to be revealed. And when we discover that person, own it and be bold and fearless in your purpose.

Today I would like to give recognition to three other bloggers, that inspire me… with their wisdom, their compassion towards others and the respect for themselves. Three strangers whom I have never met… yet I feel like I do know them somewhat, through their personal stories and the way they express themselves in words.

RAMBLINGS OF A WALLFLOWER with Dewni, sharing her thoughts and looking for her place in the world. It was her blog Embrace Your Magic… that initially inspired me today. Dewni’s advice is simply stated and is perfectionism in itself “Listen to the depths of your heart and embrace your true self”.

We are told throughout our lives, directly and indirectly, until we tell ourselves subconsciously… we need to fit in and be more like everyone else. That is an unnecessary and enormous burden for us to carry. But when we realise that we can let go of that false notion of perfectionism within society… and be less like everyone else… life magically changes when we take that step to just be ourself.

On a personal level, I have married a farmer, an honest man that just thrives in the outdoors and has a love for animals and a passion for breeding livestock. My love for him in supporting his dreams and being a mother to our children has motivated me for 25 years. But sadly I try to “fit in” within the farming industry, and part of it fits but many parts do not. I do have a strong belief in the future and importance of the agricultural industry, but I do not have a love for the hands-on farm work. So in the process of owning who I am… I now know that I can be an advocate for the rural industry and enjoy my country lifestyle and surroundings. But I know that I do not need to pretend that I am something that I am not. We all need to work out exactly who we are, enjoy the process and embrace what we find.

Secondly, BITTERSWEET TURNS with Priya, using tales and fantasy in this medium to depict deep emotions and feelings. I was captivated by this young women’s blog today Will Power and how she describes that “will power is driven by the WHY of your life”. I think she is spot on with her analogy, as everything we do has a connection to the WHY. As she says “the key is to find the why” and we need to be very honest with ourselves to do this.

For me personally… “WHY do you want to farm livestock in a drought-ridden environment?”. Well, I love my husband and I support him entirely with our farming business. I love administration and the business models that I am able to utilise to sustain our business. The drought is somewhat a temporary setback, one that in Australia will be present at times and the weather will turn and be on our side again. I also believe whole-heartedly that the future of the Australian agricultural industry is important to sustain, so we can feed and clothe our nation and export to other countries for the benefit of our economy. It is this passion that motivates me to continue in the farming industry.

On another level… “WHY do you want to write a blog?”. Well, it really started as a way to release my own emotions while suffering from depression and anxiety during this current drought on the farm and coping with changes in my life. I felt compelled to not hide behind the medication, but to voice my experiences with the world, in a hope to help somebody else going through a tough time. I wanted to reach out… so others knew they were not alone.

I then was able to be myself… and developed a real passion to motivate others to believe in themselves and accept themselves for who they are. As I touch others lives and have the ability to support someone else, to encourage someone else… my compassion is able to be shared through these means. I have raised my 2 sons to adulthood and completed the mothering role for years, now I want to share my warm-hearted and loving nature with others. I may not be able to put it into words verbally and can be a bit of an introvert, so my blog allows me to reach into the depth of my subconscious and share my empathy and inspiration in a unique way. This is now my gift and my purpose in life… and I love that I can be who I really am. I am a writer and I have something to say.

My third and final inspiration for today is from Forty Something Life As We Know It where a fellow blogger shares her journey in life and in her words “searching for wisdom”. I think she under-estimates the wisdom she actually shares with readers. I really enjoy her regular blog and inspiring messages. Two simple messages that she shared today, really touched me and is relevant to the content that I write of today.

Her blog How it is supposed to be… has this simple message and is so true… “What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be”. I think we all have this false perception and are sometimes provoked to be something else. It is our impression that this image is what we strive for. We need to take a step back, re-evaluate our passion and our interests… and then just be ourselves and daringly move forward. Life as we know it, may just change for the better, as we discover the “real” person within and contentment follows.

Another message on her blog It just blooms… “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms”. I find this to be an impressive analogy to our friends and associates in our lives. There is no need to compete with each other, to outdo one another or to be better than another. If we just be ourselves… we will magically blossom and shine.

Sadly it sometimes takes many years for us to find out who we really are… as we grow and mature over the years. But it is never too late… to really delve into your own personality, embrace it and courageously reveal the “real” you. It really is worth it, to accept who you are, imperfections and all… I assure you that you are “imperfectly perfect” and wonderfully unique. It is with audacity… that you can then OWN WHO YOU ARE and success can reign on you.

Take care, Karen.

“Be who you are

not who the world wants you to be”

~ Author Unknown

It’s Not Worth The Anger or the Heartache

December 28, 2018 / Country Heart Spark / 8 Comments

The year is nearly over and we are starting to think about New Year resolutions. 2019 can be the year for us to learn how to LET GO. Let go of all the “crap”… the negative feelings… the anger building up… or the headache of our life spiraling out of control.

How many of us get worked up over things we cannot change? Most of us, I think. We worry about everything… our children, our relationships, our friendships, our finances, our health. The worry exists daily and is normal to a point, but we can control the extent to which we worry excessively.

Some form of worry is essential so we are aware of danger, giving us an understanding of others, allowing us to care, or building strategies for prevention. It is the excess worry that I think we can shake. If we come up with a plan by playing out any “what if” scenario’s, the worry is challenged and can be somewhat relieved. Challenge your own thinking and decide if the worry is affecting your health. If it is, decide to be pro-active and let it go.

Anxiety is real and sometimes over-powering. Sometimes we are able to manage our thoughts and feelings by shifting our mindset and focus differently. Sometimes we need to ask our GP for help. Take that step if it is needed.

ANGER! Has something happened in your life that has made you so angry that it continues to build up for many years? Were there any incidents over Christmas with family members or friends that really annoyed you and now you feel angry? It is not worth the anger at all. Regardless of what has happened to you, or what someone said to you… it is not worth holding a grudge, battling feelings of contempt or a will to seek revenge.

It is just ridiculous, that we all allow differing opinions, perceptions and arguments to scar relationships. It is only stubbornness, selfishness and a lack of empathy that causes the anger to fester within. The anger may have started because of one single incident but as time passes and you play it over in your mind, the anger builds up for a variety of reasons that you create within your own mind. We just need to LET IT GO. Holding on to anger, serves no purpose whatsoever.

In fact, anger becomes debilitating over time. It just eats away inside of you and makes you bitter. Anger also affects your health long-term. A build up of anger will affect your brain, your immune system and your stress hormones. It will cause increased anxiety, high blood pressure and headaches. Anger has the most damaging effect on your cardiac health and it will increases your risk of heart attack and stroke. Holding on to anger is not only needless… but necessary to let go of, for your health’s sake.

Relationships are breaking every single day… loving relationships are ending, family break-ups and friendships destroyed. Heartache is the end result. We mask our heartache by staying angry… determined never to forgive. This is so sad. The anger serves no purpose and is harmful to your health. When we allow ourself to forgive… a simple action within ourselves to stop feeling angry or resentful… we do feel hurt but relief. Hurt can be dealt with, allowing closure or acceptance over time. The constant heartache will subside when the anger is removed.

We get so worked up over little things… things we cannot change. There are just some things we cannot control or change in our lives. We must accept that. People cannot be changed either. We must learn to manage our own actions and our own reactions in our relationships and in our life in general. This is what we do have control over.

Stop being angry with the world and holding on to the anger. Whatever happened… just happened. Let it go. Apologise if you should… if you said or did something that you shouldn’t have. Show forgiveness to others… to release yourself from the anger and resentment. Control yourself and what you have control over.

If you have a fractured relationship with a family member. Repair the relationship if possible, as family is the most important part of our lives. You can control your side of the relationship only… be nice… be respectful and be prepared to accept that you cannot control the other persons thoughts, feelings or actions. And do not try to persuade or invite others to join you in the rampage of hateful anger against a family member… as this only reinforces anger to stay in your life. Let go of the anger and resentment allowing relationships to be healed or accept the irrepairable outcome without contempt.

If you have friends that don’t seem to want to be friends with you. So what! You can control how you treat them… be nice… be respectful… but be prepared to let go and walk away if these friendships become toxic to your own health. We all deserve real friendships yet some of these friends are not for life. Some friends serve a purpose in our life and both parties need something from the friendship. But sometimes things just change, we grow apart, our differences may become more prominent or we just don’t see “eye to eye” anymore. It doesn’t matter. Learn to accept that things do change. Let go!

Life just gets so busy… that sometimes we feel like we have been thrown under the bus. Feeling restrained and not seeing a means of escape? We are always busy, balancing work, children, routines, schedules, relationships, sport, health, voluntary activities, friendships, recreation and sleep. Many of you will relate to this at some point in your lives, if not right now.

I used to feel like… and visualise myself being dragged by a rope called “life”… tied around my ankles, pulling me in and out of all my responsibilities in life. It is exhausting and tiresome. Recreation and “me” time became non-existent. I am learning to treat myself as I would treat a friend or a loved one. I am starting to get back that control in my life. Now “I am pulling” that rope in my life… and I may have a few bumps here and there, but I choose how I manage the hurdles or challenges in my path. I guarantee it is worth getting that control back. It is worth kicking anger to the kerb and the heartaches will resolve.

Make a promise to yourself heading into the New Year. “I deserve to be happy and feel whole. I will live with purpose and let go of anger and heartaches. I deserve to feel healthy without the stress of life getting in my way. I control my life… my thoughts, my actions and my feelings. I will love and cherish those important to me and treat everyone with respect. I will accept others wanting to be a part of my life and I will accept those that choose to walk away, without resentment. I will control only what I can and I will LET GO of everything else. I deserve real happiness, health and contentment.” 2019 here we come!

Take care, Karen.

“Forgive others,

not because they deserve forgiveness,

but because you deserve peace.”

~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How to Find Peace In Our Life By Self Domination

December 26, 2018December 26, 2018 / Country Heart Spark / 5 Comments

Life is way too short to leave the key to our own happiness in someone else’s pocket. We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions. We cannot control other’s, nor should we even want to. Everyone has their own opinions, but we choose how we react to them.

The moment we realise that our happiness and contentment is upon our own shoulders… life can truly begin. Sadly we find fault in others, which seems human nature, when we should be looking within. We all need to look within ourselves to find the answers and not rely on someone else to make us happy.

I have found that I am starting to look at life very differently, almost philosophical, and have assumed alternate views. I used to react to situations that were outside of my control. I used to worry excessively and aim for happiness as if I am on a journey to find “it”. A journey without a final destination.

When we are younger, we think that our happiness is a direct result of finding the “perfect” partner, building an exquisite home, having a child, finding the ideal job, buying our favourite car, following the latest fashion fair or finding real friendships in our lives.

The truth is we do not need someone else to find happiness in our life and we do not need materialistic objects to “complete” us. These people and items may bring us enjoyment and a feeling of closeness or inclusiveness. But real happiness lies within us and we have the key to our own happiness. We need to shift our mindset and look at the bigger picture. Then almost magically, you will see the right people drawn to you and happiness will blossom.

I now choose to look within myself and change my own thoughts, feelings or actions in order to create my own contentment. The beauty of this concept is that we can control all of this within… and we will see personal growth along the way. We do not need to rely on other peoples conduct or behaviour, which is out of our scope. Our own behaviour then becomes less reactive and more actionable.

We spend our lives trying to figure out who we are and what we want. We worry about what might have been or who is “on my side” in life. We tend to overthink situations and possible scenarios. We can also create an issue based on our own perspective.

Perception is a powerful reality in life. One person’s perception can be entirely in contrast to another person’s interpretation. Right and wrong is not the issue. Personal perceptions are just that… PERSONAL… to each individual. We imagine things through our own perspective only. The same situation or incident will be interpreted differently by those involved. We are all unique and have our own emotional response and reactions.

How many of you have had someone you trusted disappoint you? How many of you have broken relationships or severed family ties? How many of you feel overwhelmed with the impact these fractured relationships have had upon you?

We all have our own issues and baggage within our lives. We are all human and a hurricane of emotions are inevitable. If somebody says or does something which annoys or upsets you… you have the power to not react negatively and allow contempt to consume you. Consider that you may be understanding from your own perspective only… and the other person from theirs. Both parties can be unaware of the real situation and missing the intent of the discussion.

Forgiveness is often an understated action, if this reflects any situation in our lives. To forgive, is to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence, flaw or mistake. The necessary process of forgiveness… is not to “let someone off the hook” or excuse their behaviour, ignorance or impoliteness. Forgiveness is a process to allow our own growth and happiness.

A lot of us fail to realise that forgiveness is not about the offender, it is about us. When we hold on to the hurt, pain, resentment or anger… it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness allows us to move forward without anger, contempt or seeking revenge. This is essential to release yourself from any situation and to move forward in your own life. Forgiveness “frees” you by taking control… and peace will remain.

We waste too much time worrying and forget to just breathe. We need to learn how to appreciate and just “exist” in the moment. The time has come for me… to stop the overthinking and worrying. When I decided that I was “done” with anything that does not bring me peace, my life changed. I feel content… I feel calmness… I feel happiness embalming me.

Then the magic begins… when you see your loved ones with a sense of adoration in you and inspiration in their own life. Not only do they see the real you, they are inspired to become the better version of themselves as well. It then becomes contagious. Be yourself, love your family, appreciate your friendships, practice forgiveness, just live in the moment and peace will be the cherished outcome.

Take care, Karen.

“If you want to be happy,

do not dwell in the past,

do not worry about the future,

focus on living fully in the present.”

~ Roy T. Bennett

Exposing The Truth On Why I Chose To Write A Blog?

December 18, 2018December 18, 2018 / Country Heart Spark / Leave a comment

Why on earth do people want to blog? Why would you want to spend time doing such a thing? Well for me, it was an emotional outlet… a platform to share and connect with others. There is something magical about opening your heart to allow others to see the real you.

It is a way I can remotely share my real-life stories and inspire others along their journey in life. It is a tool for me to use in order to manage my stress related to the current drought on the farm. It gives me a voice and somewhere to write my thoughts and feelings.

Why not a journal or diary, some may ask? I have a passion to help others and I can see a need where others can relate through reading my words. It gives a sense of support and knowing that we are in this together. I am passionate about encouraging others to believe in themselves and I aim to inspire others through my own experiences.

Conventional writing has taken a back seat, as the tech-savvy readers emerge, reshaping the internet media landscape. Some people may think that bloggers like to be the centre of attention and regard themselves as their own prime focus. NO, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

In fact, bloggers are more introverted, sometimes shy, yet have something important to share. Connections can still be relevant in our changing world through this means. Bloggers support some sort of cause or have a passion to inspire others or enrich their lives in some way.

For me, blogging started as a result of the drought, when my stress-levels had sky-rocketed. I had hit rock-bottom in my physical and mental health. But I was brave enough to seek some professional help and my life started to improve dramatically.

Then I started to see the community drought support right across our nation and this was completely overwhelming. I wanted to thank the community for all the drought assistance and emotional support they were providing to farmers through the charities. I wanted you all to know how valuable you all were and what a difference your support was making in all our lives. Blogging gave me this voice publicly.

Sharing through my daily blogs, helps me keep connected with my family and friends further afield. My Mum especially loves to read what I write. I know that she is content knowing that I am doing OK and now serving a greater purpose with my writing. My non-farming friends and associates have enjoyed reading my blogs and like learning about farming life. My blog keeps us all connected and informed.

Blogging also gives me the ability to be creative with my website design. As a perfectionist, I took great pride in designing my website from scratch. Every time I write a blog, it gives me an opportunity to express myself creatively. I want it to be a true representation of myself and my passion in life.

It took me a few weeks to feel comfortable enough to reveal who I really was. Trust does not come easily to me at all. But I realised that I must trust in the process and allow my purpose in life to be revealed. The main reason I decided to “expose” myself, was to give credibility and as honesty is my most honourable attribute… it was inevitable.

From there blogging became a commitment to touch others hearts by sharing my personal stories on and off the farm. I also noticed a need where many others doubted their own abilities and inspiration was needed to guide self-worth for all.

There is something to be gained by moving my personal stories from an invisible state into the light for others to see. When I receive feedback from individuals, thanking me for opening up my heart and sharing my stories… it gives me a sense of fulfillment which is gratifying. It pleases me that I can support or guide others to find their own answers.

I then realised that blogging had become my own form of stress-relief. As I typed away at the keyboard, all that mixed-up “stuff” in my head was released. I literally felt calmer within myself and more centred again. Life then became harmonious… almost tranquil.

So although farm life hadn’t changed at all and drought feeding demands were still a large burden… my ability to handle the situation had changed dramatically. Instead of feeling complete exhaustion, emotionally chaotic and unable to cope with these challenges… I became more focused and capable of the work involved.

Sometimes, I feel a little selfish when I write my blog… as I am addicted to that feeling of knowing that it gives me the inner strength I need daily. It helps me to find my inner thoughts and to move forward in my own life. It has become almost therapeutic and a daily ritual for me. Writing is what I love… the words just seem to flow from within.

But the greatest satisfaction is… knowing that my words have impacted on other people. Knowing that I have inspired somebody else. Knowing that my words give them the support they need and a connection between us all. Knowing that sharing my personal experiences will help someone else every single day. This is what truly gives me a sense of serene contentment.

Take care, Karen.

“BECAUSE WHEN I WRITE,

it’s more than just me at a keyboard.

It’s the universe converging within

the pandemonium of my mind,

and turning it into something

BEAUTIFUL.”

~ Lyndsay Everotm, A Writers Thoughts.