Tough Day Ended With A Smile

Have you had one of those days when everything seems to go the wrong way?  No matter what your plan is for the day, life just gets in the way.  Farm life… is always throwing something at you.

What a tough wayward day that sprung on me today!  Working very conscientiously in my office until mid-morning, when the husband asks for help to get a heifer into the yards.  (A heifer is a cow that has never born a calf before.)

Of course, I help.

Now calving season is upon us, and emerging from a drought, following rain, there is a lot of green feed on our farm.  This drought recovery period can create problems for cows, leading to calving difficulties as the calf grows too quickly in the uterus in the last few months.  So we have to keep checking the cows daily, especially the heifers, just in case there may be a calving problem.

So we get the beautiful heifer into the yards and husband does what most farmers do to assist her in the delivery.  Big problem… as the calf’s head is twisted around backward and almost upside down.  Frustration and exhaustion for the farmer, as time is spent trying to turn the calf’s head into the correct position for delivery.  It is just too big and not enough room inside the uterus.  But the calf is still alive… at this stage.

Since we usually breed for ease of calving and select bulls accordingly, the frustration is mounting.  Then comes the phone call to the Veterinarian.  A phone call that farmers prefer to do without, as this means more business costs, when finances are already at an all-time low.

As a farmer, we do all we can for the wellbeing of our animals, as they are our livelihood.

The keen young Vet arrives an hour later and spends hours trying to correct the abnormal presentation of the calf but to no avail.  By now the calf is dead inside as it has taken too long for the birth.

One ordeal follows another… then a Caesarean Section is required.  The quiet heifer is patient, almost understanding, as the Vet performs a difficult Caesarean, needing lots of physical assistance.  The dead calf is removed from the uterus and she starts to suture the uterus back up, but that led to complications.

Late afternoon, the Vet was tiring and needing extra assistance, so she phones for a second Vet to attend.  The heifer is obviously uncomfortable but still cooperating.  Just on dark, 2 Vets and husband finally get her all sutured up, given her fluids and medications, then she is back on her feet just needing some time to heal.

It was a mentally and physically tiring day, with frustration all around.  My day was full of interruption, distraction and nothing went to plan.  Do you find these sort of days, throw you out of order and routine?  The trouble with focusing and juggling tasks in our lives.

Life is overwhelming at times… for all of us.

But my day ended on a high note.  Despite feeling overwhelmed, tonight I still attended a scheduled group Live event (virtually) on Facebook with Katie Godden – Bulletproof Coaching.  Reliability and commitment are important to me.  It was her personality, her energy, and her enthusiasm, all wrapped up in her smile.  A shower of support.

This reminded me of the important things in life.  My values, my family, my businesses, and a compelling future.  What is it for you?  We all have something that inspires us, that motivates us and that lights us up.

Instead of focusing on my tough day, worrying about everything that went wrong and what I did not get done… I choose to focus on what went right and appreciate the good things in life.

The heifer survived the ordeal and will heal.  I got to see my youngest son at lunchtime when he turned up and gave us a hand.  Family is important and will help when they can.  Surround yourself with good people that inspire you, challenge you, motivate you and believe in you.

So no matter how tough of a day… look for the good people around you, refocus on what is important and make every effort to be the best version of yourself.  Be true to yourself, do what matters, and believe there is always something great about to happen.

Take care, Karen.

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Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow.  It empties today of it’s strength.”

~ Corrie ten Boom, Dutch watchmaker.

It’s Not Worth The Anger or the Heartache

The year is nearly over and we are starting to think about New Year resolutions.  2019 can be the year for us to learn how to LET GO.  Let go of all the “crap”… the negative feelings… the anger building up… or the headache of our life spiraling out of control.

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How many of us get worked up over things we cannot change?  Most of us, I think.  We worry about everything… our children, our relationships, our friendships, our finances, our health.  The worry exists daily and is normal to a point, but we can control the extent to which we worry excessively.

Some form of worry is essential so we are aware of danger, giving us an understanding of others, allowing us to care, or building strategies for prevention.  It is the excess worry that I think we can shake.  If we come up with a plan by playing out any “what  if” scenario’s, the worry is challenged and can be somewhat relieved.  Challenge your own thinking and decide if the worry is affecting your health.  If it is, decide to be pro-active and let it go.

Anxiety is real and sometimes over-powering.  Sometimes we are able to manage our thoughts and feelings by shifting our mindset and focus differently.  Sometimes we need to ask our GP for help.  Take that step if it is needed.

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ANGER!  Has something happened in your life that has made you so angry that it continues to build up for many years?  Were there any incidents over Christmas with family members or friends that really annoyed you and now you feel angry?  It is not worth the anger at all.  Regardless of what has happened to you, or what someone said to you… it is not worth holding a grudge, battling feelings of contempt or a will to seek revenge.

It is just ridiculous, that we all allow differing opinions, perceptions and arguments to scar relationships.  It is only stubbornness, selfishness and a lack of empathy that causes the anger to fester within.  The anger may have started because of one single incident but as time passes and you play it over in your mind, the anger builds up for a variety of reasons that you create within your own mind.  We just need to LET IT GO.  Holding on to anger, serves no purpose whatsoever.

In fact, anger becomes debilitating over time.  It just eats away inside of you and makes you bitter.  Anger also affects your health long-term.  A build up of anger will affect your brain, your immune system and your stress hormones.  It will cause increased anxiety,  high blood pressure and headaches.  Anger has the most damaging effect on your cardiac health and it will increases your risk of heart attack and stroke.  Holding on to anger is not only needless… but necessary to let go of, for your health’s sake.

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Relationships are breaking every single day… loving relationships are ending, family break-ups and friendships destroyed.  Heartache is the end result.  We mask our heartache by staying angry… determined never to forgive.  This is so sad.  The anger serves no purpose and is harmful to your health.  When we allow ourself to forgive… a simple action within ourselves to stop feeling angry or resentful… we do feel hurt but relief.  Hurt can be dealt with, allowing closure or acceptance over time.  The constant heartache will subside when the anger is removed.

We get so worked up over little things… things we cannot change.  There are just some things we cannot control or change in our lives.   We must accept that.  People cannot be changed either.  We must learn to manage our own actions and our own reactions in our relationships and in our life in general.  This is what we do have control over.

Stop being angry with the world and holding on to the anger.  Whatever happened… just happened.  Let it go.  Apologise if you should… if you said or did something that you shouldn’t have.  Show forgiveness to others… to release yourself from the anger and resentment.  Control yourself and what you have control over.

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If you have a fractured relationship with a family member.  Repair the relationship if possible, as family is the most important part of our lives.  You can control your side of the relationship only… be nice… be respectful and be prepared to accept that you cannot control the other persons thoughts, feelings or actions.  And do not try to persuade or invite others to join you in the rampage of hateful anger against a family member… as this only reinforces anger to stay in your life.  Let go of the anger and resentment allowing relationships to be healed or accept the irrepairable outcome without contempt.

If you have friends that don’t seem to want to be friends with you.  So what!  You can control how you treat them… be nice… be respectful… but be prepared to let go and walk away if these friendships become toxic to your own health.  We all deserve real friendships yet some of these friends are not for life.  Some friends serve a purpose in our life and both parties need something from the friendship.  But sometimes things just change, we grow apart, our differences may become more prominent or we just don’t see “eye to eye” anymore.  It doesn’t matter.  Learn to accept that things do change.  Let go!

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Life just gets so busy… that sometimes we feel like we have been thrown under the bus.  Feeling restrained and not seeing a means of escape?  We are always busy, balancing work, children, routines, schedules, relationships, sport, health, voluntary activities, friendships, recreation and sleep.  Many of you will relate to this at some point in your lives, if not right now.

I used to feel like… and visualise myself being dragged by a rope called “life”… tied around my ankles, pulling me in and out of all my responsibilities in life.  It is exhausting and tiresome.  Recreation and “me” time became non-existent.  I am learning to treat myself as I would treat a friend or a loved one.  I am starting to get back that control in my life.  Now “I am pulling” that rope in my life… and I may have a few bumps here and there, but I choose how I manage the hurdles or challenges in my path.  I guarantee it is worth getting that control back.  It is worth kicking anger to the kerb and the heartaches will resolve.silhouette-3333895__340.png

Make a promise to yourself heading into the New Year.  “I deserve to be happy and feel whole.  I will live with purpose and let go of anger and heartaches.  I deserve to feel healthy without the stress of life getting in my way.  I control my life… my thoughts, my actions and my feelings.  I will love and cherish those important to me and treat everyone with respect.  I will accept others wanting to be a part of my life and I will accept those that choose to walk away, without resentment.  I will control only what I can and I will LET GO of everything else.  I deserve real happiness, health and contentment.”  2019 here we come!

Take care, Karen.

“Forgive others,

not because they deserve forgiveness,

but because you deserve peace.”

~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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How to Find Peace In Our Life By Self Domination

Life is way too short to leave the key to our own happiness in someone else’s pocket.  We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions.  We cannot control other’s, nor should we even want to.  Everyone has their own opinions, but we choose how we react to them.

The moment we realise that our happiness and contentment is upon our own shoulders… life can truly begin.  Sadly we find fault in others, which seems human nature, when we should be looking within.  We all need to look within ourselves to find the answers and not rely on someone else to make us happy.

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I have found that I am starting to look at life very differently, almost philosophical, and have assumed alternate views.  I used to react to situations that were outside of my control.  I used to worry excessively and aim for happiness as if I am on a journey to find “it”.   A journey without a final destination.

When we are younger, we think that our happiness is a direct result of finding the “perfect” partner, building an exquisite home, having a child, finding the ideal job, buying our favourite car, following the latest fashion fair or finding real friendships in our lives.

The truth is we do not need someone else to find happiness in our life and we do not need materialistic objects to “complete” us.  These people and items may bring us enjoyment and a feeling of closeness or inclusiveness.  But real happiness lies within us and we have the key to our own happiness.  We need to shift our mindset and look at the bigger picture.  Then almost magically, you will see the right people drawn to you and happiness will blossom.Heart, Butterfly, Flight Path, Spring

I now choose to look within myself and change my own thoughts, feelings or actions in order to create my own contentment.  The beauty of this concept is that we can control all of this within… and we will see personal growth along the way.  We do not need to rely on other peoples conduct or behaviour, which is out of our scope.  Our own behaviour then becomes less reactive and more actionable.

We spend our lives trying to figure out who we are and what we want.  We worry about what might have been or who is “on my side” in life.  We tend to overthink situations and possible scenarios.  We can also create an issue based on our own perspective.

Perception is a powerful reality in life.  One person’s perception can be entirely in contrast to another person’s interpretation.  Right and wrong is not the issue.  Personal perceptions are just that… PERSONAL… to each individual.  We imagine things through our own perspective only.  The same situation or incident will be interpreted differently by those involved.  We are all unique and have our own emotional response and reactions.

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How many of you have had someone you trusted disappoint you?  How many of you have broken relationships or severed family ties?  How many of you feel overwhelmed with the impact these fractured relationships have had upon you?

We all have our own issues and baggage within our lives.  We are all human and a hurricane of emotions are inevitable.  If somebody says or does something which annoys or upsets you… you have the power to not react negatively and allow contempt to consume you.  Consider that you may be understanding from your own perspective only… and the other person from theirs.  Both parties can be unaware of the real situation and missing the intent of the discussion.

Forgiveness is often an understated action, if this reflects any situation in our lives.  To forgive, is to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence, flaw or mistake.  The necessary process of forgiveness… is not to “let someone off the hook” or excuse their behaviour, ignorance or impoliteness.  Forgiveness is a process to allow our own growth and happiness.

A lot of us fail to realise that forgiveness is not about the offender, it is about us.  When we hold on to the hurt, pain, resentment or anger… it harms us far more than it harms the offender.  Forgiveness allows us to move forward without anger, contempt or seeking revenge.  This is essential to release yourself from any situation and to move forward in your own life.  Forgiveness “frees” you by taking control… and peace will remain.

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We waste too much time worrying and forget to just breathe.  We need to learn how to appreciate and just “exist” in the moment.  The time has come for me… to stop the overthinking and worrying.  When I decided that I was “done” with anything that does not bring me peace, my life changed.  I feel content… I feel calmness… I feel happiness embalming me.

Then the magic begins… when you see your loved ones with a sense of adoration in you and inspiration in their own life.  Not only do they see the real you, they are inspired to become the better version of themselves as well.  It then becomes contagious.  Be yourself, love your family, appreciate your friendships, practice forgiveness, just live in the moment and peace will be the cherished outcome.

Take care, Karen.

“If you want to be happy, 

do not dwell in the past, 

do not worry about the future, 

focus on living fully in the present.”

~ Roy T. Bennett 

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