A Cup of Kindness for Days Gone By

Happy New Year to one and all!  Did you bring in the New Year in style?  Perhaps a night of dancing, singing, talking and celebration.

As we move from one year to the next, a new joy emerges… one of hope for a wonderful new year and writing a new chapter in our life.  But also one of nostalgia and appreciation for those wonderful people we have in our lives…a huge feeling of gratefulness.

Last night until the wee hours of this morning, I spent time with several great friends and their partners.  Sharing a meal, a wine, great conversation and lots of laughter.  I could not have asked for a better night.  Laid back, relaxing and huge contentment still remains after the midnight countdown.

Watching the Sydney fireworks displayed on the big screen at my friend’s house, noting the colours were fantastic and better than previous years.  Laughter exploded when my dear husband pointed out that we were watching it on a bigger and better TV screen.  LOL!

Sydney, New Year'S Eve, Fireworks

The tribute to our Emergency Services was beautifully appreciated in fireworks colour with an emphasis on their huge sacrifice.  With our nation experiencing horrid drought and ravaging bushfires threatening families and the environment, the tribute was heartfelt.

Our hearts go out to those families that have lost loved ones as a result of the devastation.  These fire-fighting heroes have lost their lives doing something that they believe in and that the rest of us are grateful for their care and bravery in such frightening times.  Their memories will live on in their families, friends and colleagues.

We all hope for rain to stop the fires ravaging our country and allow the brave men and women of our Emergency Services time out with their own families and to rest and recover themselves.  We are thankful to have these heroes fighting the heated battle daily to help many strangers in need across so many communities.

As I listened to the song “Auld Lang Syne” to mark the end of 2019 and the beginning of 2020… I had forgotten the meaning of this song and those lyrics.  A little quiet humming remained.  Historians have called it “the song that nobody knows” yet we have all tried to sing it, many of times.

“Auld Lang Syne” is originally based on a 1788 Scottish poem by Robert Burns and is typically sung on New Year’s Eve around the world.  The Scottish phrase “auld lang syne” translates to “old long since” and basically means “days gone by” which is an appropriate toast for the New Year.

In Australia, the lyrics we sing today are a more modern version of the Scots poem.  So when everyone sings the chorus “for auld lang syne”, this translates to “for the sake of old times”.  The song also reflects love, friendship and nostalgic memories.  This folk song is also sung at funerals, graduations and is a farewell song on other occasions.

Video Credit ~ YouTube and “Christmas Songs and Carols – Love to Sing”

For me, this song represents an appreciation for time spent with good friends and family support.  I love the analogy of “a cup of kindness” and the depiction of raising a glass to our friendships in the past and for the future.

Enjoy time with your family, time with your friends and time to reflect solo.  Start setting your goals for the New Year to work towards making your dreams a reality.  You have all the tools within you to make it happen.  But first, you must believe you can do it and you will.

Happy New Year fellow readers!

Take care, Karen.

“This is a new year.  A new beginning.  

And things will change.”

~Taylor Swift, singer.

It’s Not Worth The Anger or the Heartache

The year is nearly over and we are starting to think about New Year resolutions.  2019 can be the year for us to learn how to LET GO.  Let go of all the “crap”… the negative feelings… the anger building up… or the headache of our life spiraling out of control.

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How many of us get worked up over things we cannot change?  Most of us, I think.  We worry about everything… our children, our relationships, our friendships, our finances, our health.  The worry exists daily and is normal to a point, but we can control the extent to which we worry excessively.

Some form of worry is essential so we are aware of danger, giving us an understanding of others, allowing us to care, or building strategies for prevention.  It is the excess worry that I think we can shake.  If we come up with a plan by playing out any “what  if” scenario’s, the worry is challenged and can be somewhat relieved.  Challenge your own thinking and decide if the worry is affecting your health.  If it is, decide to be pro-active and let it go.

Anxiety is real and sometimes over-powering.  Sometimes we are able to manage our thoughts and feelings by shifting our mindset and focus differently.  Sometimes we need to ask our GP for help.  Take that step if it is needed.

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ANGER!  Has something happened in your life that has made you so angry that it continues to build up for many years?  Were there any incidents over Christmas with family members or friends that really annoyed you and now you feel angry?  It is not worth the anger at all.  Regardless of what has happened to you, or what someone said to you… it is not worth holding a grudge, battling feelings of contempt or a will to seek revenge.

It is just ridiculous, that we all allow differing opinions, perceptions and arguments to scar relationships.  It is only stubbornness, selfishness and a lack of empathy that causes the anger to fester within.  The anger may have started because of one single incident but as time passes and you play it over in your mind, the anger builds up for a variety of reasons that you create within your own mind.  We just need to LET IT GO.  Holding on to anger, serves no purpose whatsoever.

In fact, anger becomes debilitating over time.  It just eats away inside of you and makes you bitter.  Anger also affects your health long-term.  A build up of anger will affect your brain, your immune system and your stress hormones.  It will cause increased anxiety,  high blood pressure and headaches.  Anger has the most damaging effect on your cardiac health and it will increases your risk of heart attack and stroke.  Holding on to anger is not only needless… but necessary to let go of, for your health’s sake.

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Relationships are breaking every single day… loving relationships are ending, family break-ups and friendships destroyed.  Heartache is the end result.  We mask our heartache by staying angry… determined never to forgive.  This is so sad.  The anger serves no purpose and is harmful to your health.  When we allow ourself to forgive… a simple action within ourselves to stop feeling angry or resentful… we do feel hurt but relief.  Hurt can be dealt with, allowing closure or acceptance over time.  The constant heartache will subside when the anger is removed.

We get so worked up over little things… things we cannot change.  There are just some things we cannot control or change in our lives.   We must accept that.  People cannot be changed either.  We must learn to manage our own actions and our own reactions in our relationships and in our life in general.  This is what we do have control over.

Stop being angry with the world and holding on to the anger.  Whatever happened… just happened.  Let it go.  Apologise if you should… if you said or did something that you shouldn’t have.  Show forgiveness to others… to release yourself from the anger and resentment.  Control yourself and what you have control over.

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If you have a fractured relationship with a family member.  Repair the relationship if possible, as family is the most important part of our lives.  You can control your side of the relationship only… be nice… be respectful and be prepared to accept that you cannot control the other persons thoughts, feelings or actions.  And do not try to persuade or invite others to join you in the rampage of hateful anger against a family member… as this only reinforces anger to stay in your life.  Let go of the anger and resentment allowing relationships to be healed or accept the irrepairable outcome without contempt.

If you have friends that don’t seem to want to be friends with you.  So what!  You can control how you treat them… be nice… be respectful… but be prepared to let go and walk away if these friendships become toxic to your own health.  We all deserve real friendships yet some of these friends are not for life.  Some friends serve a purpose in our life and both parties need something from the friendship.  But sometimes things just change, we grow apart, our differences may become more prominent or we just don’t see “eye to eye” anymore.  It doesn’t matter.  Learn to accept that things do change.  Let go!

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Life just gets so busy… that sometimes we feel like we have been thrown under the bus.  Feeling restrained and not seeing a means of escape?  We are always busy, balancing work, children, routines, schedules, relationships, sport, health, voluntary activities, friendships, recreation and sleep.  Many of you will relate to this at some point in your lives, if not right now.

I used to feel like… and visualise myself being dragged by a rope called “life”… tied around my ankles, pulling me in and out of all my responsibilities in life.  It is exhausting and tiresome.  Recreation and “me” time became non-existent.  I am learning to treat myself as I would treat a friend or a loved one.  I am starting to get back that control in my life.  Now “I am pulling” that rope in my life… and I may have a few bumps here and there, but I choose how I manage the hurdles or challenges in my path.  I guarantee it is worth getting that control back.  It is worth kicking anger to the kerb and the heartaches will resolve.silhouette-3333895__340.png

Make a promise to yourself heading into the New Year.  “I deserve to be happy and feel whole.  I will live with purpose and let go of anger and heartaches.  I deserve to feel healthy without the stress of life getting in my way.  I control my life… my thoughts, my actions and my feelings.  I will love and cherish those important to me and treat everyone with respect.  I will accept others wanting to be a part of my life and I will accept those that choose to walk away, without resentment.  I will control only what I can and I will LET GO of everything else.  I deserve real happiness, health and contentment.”  2019 here we come!

Take care, Karen.

“Forgive others,

not because they deserve forgiveness,

but because you deserve peace.”

~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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