Life is way too short to leave the key to our own happiness in someone else’s pocket. We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions. We cannot control other’s, nor should we even want to. Everyone has their own opinions, but we choose how we react to them.
The moment we realise that our happiness and contentment is upon our own shoulders… life can truly begin. Sadly we find fault in others, which seems human nature, when we should be looking within. We all need to look within ourselves to find the answers and not rely on someone else to make us happy.
I have found that I am starting to look at life very differently, almost philosophical, and have assumed alternate views. I used to react to situations that were outside of my control. I used to worry excessively and aim for happiness as if I am on a journey to find “it”. A journey without a final destination.
When we are younger, we think that our happiness is a direct result of finding the “perfect” partner, building an exquisite home, having a child, finding the ideal job, buying our favourite car, following the latest fashion fair or finding real friendships in our lives.
The truth is we do not need someone else to find happiness in our life and we do not need materialistic objects to “complete” us. These people and items may bring us enjoyment and a feeling of closeness or inclusiveness. But real happiness lies within us and we have the key to our own happiness. We need to shift our mindset and look at the bigger picture. Then almost magically, you will see the right people drawn to you and happiness will blossom.
I now choose to look within myself and change my own thoughts, feelings or actions in order to create my own contentment. The beauty of this concept is that we can control all of this within… and we will see personal growth along the way. We do not need to rely on other peoples conduct or behaviour, which is out of our scope. Our own behaviour then becomes less reactive and more actionable.
We spend our lives trying to figure out who we are and what we want. We worry about what might have been or who is “on my side” in life. We tend to overthink situations and possible scenarios. We can also create an issue based on our own perspective.
Perception is a powerful reality in life. One person’s perception can be entirely in contrast to another person’s interpretation. Right and wrong is not the issue. Personal perceptions are just that… PERSONAL… to each individual. We imagine things through our own perspective only. The same situation or incident will be interpreted differently by those involved. We are all unique and have our own emotional response and reactions.
How many of you have had someone you trusted disappoint you? How many of you have broken relationships or severed family ties? How many of you feel overwhelmed with the impact these fractured relationships have had upon you?
We all have our own issues and baggage within our lives. We are all human and a hurricane of emotions are inevitable. If somebody says or does something which annoys or upsets you… you have the power to not react negatively and allow contempt to consume you. Consider that you may be understanding from your own perspective only… and the other person from theirs. Both parties can be unaware of the real situation and missing the intent of the discussion.
Forgiveness is often an understated action, if this reflects any situation in our lives. To forgive, is to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offence, flaw or mistake. The necessary process of forgiveness… is not to “let someone off the hook” or excuse their behaviour, ignorance or impoliteness. Forgiveness is a process to allow our own growth and happiness.
A lot of us fail to realise that forgiveness is not about the offender, it is about us. When we hold on to the hurt, pain, resentment or anger… it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness allows us to move forward without anger, contempt or seeking revenge. This is essential to release yourself from any situation and to move forward in your own life. Forgiveness “frees” you by taking control… and peace will remain.
We waste too much time worrying and forget to just breathe. We need to learn how to appreciate and just “exist” in the moment. The time has come for me… to stop the overthinking and worrying. When I decided that I was “done” with anything that does not bring me peace, my life changed. I feel content… I feel calmness… I feel happiness embalming me.
Then the magic begins… when you see your loved ones with a sense of adoration in you and inspiration in their own life. Not only do they see the real you, they are inspired to become the better version of themselves as well. It then becomes contagious. Be yourself, love your family, appreciate your friendships, practice forgiveness, just live in the moment and peace will be the cherished outcome.
Take care, Karen.
“If you want to be happy,
do not dwell in the past,
do not worry about the future,
focus on living fully in the present.”
~ Roy T. Bennett